Nature/Animal Jokes

What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? Winnie the Pooh.

What did the bird say after his cage broke? "Cheap, cheap!"

Why do farmers put bells on cows? Their horns don't work.

What's the difference between an eagle and a squirrel? They both fly, except for the squirrel.

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, I'll drive."

What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.

Where do sheep go on vacation? The "Baaaaahamas."

What do you get when you mix a cow and an earthquake? A milkshake.

Why did the koala not pass the interview? Because he didn't meet the "koalafications."

Bar Jokes

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender, knowing the penguin had a date that day, asks, "How did you date go?"

The penguin replies, "It was going well until I got cold feet."

A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at him and says, "For you, no charge."

A knife walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "You're looking sharp today!"